Helping Teenager stop Self harming

How to keep your teenager safe..

There are a few things here that we need to deliberate on when your teen is self-harming. There are increasing concerns for young people’s mental health and there are just not enough resources out there. There is a long waiting list for Child and Adolescent mental health service if you live in UK

I won't go into details as to why teen self harm as every teen's circumstances are different and it would be irresponsible of me to generalise this. Overall, Self-harm is a complex issue often rooted in emotional pain and distress. It can manifest in various forms, such as cutting, burning, or other self-destructive behaviors.

In this blog, I am focusing on physical harm, i.e cutting, burning. What I really want to share is how families can help their teens reduce or stop self harming incidents by focusing on the following areas below. It takes effort, consistency, and repetition. It also requires you as a parent to be compassionate, and supportive.

Before we dive in, please make sure that you seek professional support for your teen's mental health if you are concerned.

Recognising the signs is the first step in helping a teen who may be engaging in self-harm.

1. Be Observant: Keep an eye out for unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns, especially in discreet areas like wrists, thighs, or upper arms. Changes in behavior, such as withdrawal from friends and activities, can also be indicators.

   
   

2. Emotional Warning Signs: Teens struggling with self-harm may exhibit signs of depression, anxiety, or intense mood swings. Pay attention to sudden shifts in their emotional well-being and their ability to cope with stress.

   
   

3. Isolation and Secrecy: If a teen becomes unusually secretive about their activities or withdraws from social interactions, it could be a sign that something deeper is going on.

First of all, it is really important that the family creates “keeping safe” plan with your teen or however the family would like to call it. Here are some of the important things you can think about with your teenager and other family members,

1) thinking about triggers - what triggers the thoughts and feelings of wanting to hurt yourself?

2) identify strategies your teen can use to challenge their thoughts on hurting themselves - this can be as simple as listenting to music or speaking to someone. Help your teen find the strategies that work for them is vital.

3) identify trusting people they can speak to at least 5 of them so that they know who to approach when 1st in line of support is not available

4) identify high risk time and who can help keep your teen company

5) remove means that your teen can use to hurt themselves - this is not forever, but a temporary measure whilst supporting and teaching your teen new skills to manage their emotional pain.

6) be available, listen attentively when your teen is sharing their feelings. What it looks like for every teen and family is different, make sure you ask your teen what listening and being available look like, feel like to them.

7) help your teen to learn to ask for help and problem solve with them. Your teen will slowly learn that there are other ways to manage the difficult feelings and challenges and that there are trusting adults available to listen and help them.

One of the young people I used to work with wrote a lovely poem to encourage herself to make different choices when she experienced intrusive thoughts to hurt herself. She did amazingly with support around her and a plan that she created with her family.

Helping a teen struggling with self-harm requires patience, understanding, and a collaborative effort.

By recognising the signs and offering a supportive environment, we can be instrumental in guiding them towards healthier coping mechanisms and, ultimately, healing.

Remember, being a trusted ally in their journey can make all the difference in the world.

If you are struggling to help your teen who is self harming, find out how you can work with me here.

Pei-I

🌈There’s always hope, endless hope

Disclaimer for Pre-Recorded Video

The strategies shared in this video are general guidance only.Every family has its own unique emotional patterns, history, strengths, and stressors — your family’s blueprint — so not everything here will apply to your situation in the same way.

Please use your judgement:If a strategy doesn’t feel safe, appropriate, or realistic for your family, don’t follow it.This video is not a substitute for personalised professional support.

If your teenager’s behaviour is extreme, escalating, or causing harm, please seek tailored help from a qualified professional or reach out if you’d like support from me directly.